Prisoner Exchange
by snake screamer
Summary: What it says on the title.


"Hahahahahahahaha! Archer laughed uncontrollably.

"It's not funny." Hawley sneered

"it's freaking hysterical. Of all the time you and Slater bitch about us failing mission for you guys, one of you two jerks got caught by the KGB." Archer snickered. "And all cause they were reviewing some files they stole from you and when they started to read his file, he freak out."

"I know, even Cyril wouldn't make that mistake." Lana stated.

"Anyway." Hawley said annoyed. "The only reason why were sending for this prisoner exchange is cause the head of the KGB requested you two to handle the prisoner exchange. I can only imagine its partly due to past history and partly due to knowing you idiot will somehow screw this up."

"We have been screwing up more then usual lately." Archer admitted.

"Should we know who were trading him for?" Lana said

"I'm sure your more then familiar with the name Rona thorne."

"Uggh, that bitch." Lana muttered

"Yes the women who assassinated a man cause of your group idiocy." Hawley said

"Not to mention mother screaming when she learn that her movie wasn't going to be made when we told her the double agent thing." Archer said "Which btw made my tinnitus worse."

"Are you done?" Hawley said "Cause if so, i want you to do this now and if your successful. I MIGHT look the other way with your mother next stupid scheme."

"Make it looking the other way for her next four schemes." Lana said

"Wha-" Archer said surprise.

"I may hate Mallory at the moment but i refuse to lose this job cause of one of her schemes." Lana stated/whispered in Archer ear "In fact i bet if we took the original offer that we lose it almost immediately due to mallory doing something greedy right at this very moment."

"I'll make it two, take it or leave it." Hawley said annoyed

"Fine. We'll take your offer."

"Good, you're prisoner is waitiing in the helicopter ready to be transferred."

* * *

"OMG Lana and Archer, nice to see you again." Rona said happily

"Shut up." Lana said annoyed

"Aww still upset that i tricked you guys, if it makes you feel better it wasn't personal. In fact i had no plans to do it till the former head Jakov told me to do it, something about pissing off his ex or something."

"Yeah that sound about right." Archer said

"So how were things besides the cartel." Rona said

"You know about that!" Lana said, abit too loud for her liking.

"OH yeah, former head Barry wanted to keep tabs on you guys."

"Why, we had nothing at the time, we were literally disbanded due to a idiot scheme." Lana said annoyed

"Well to be fair... Barry was very obsess with someone." Rona said

"Oh for the love of-" Archer muttered

"And i mean obsessed, he literally has traitor dress as you and wearing Archer mask before he push them to there death to a spike pit."

"Yeesh." Archer said "That guy needs a therapist."

"Our leader tried that." Rona admitted

* * *

"Well this is just great Barry." Katya said annoyed "That the fifth therapist you killed today."

"What he insulted other Barry taste in tracksuit." Barry said annoyed "Now if you excuse me other barry want me to burn this guy."

Katya sighed as she muttered under her breath 'you have no one to blame but yourself katya for marrying your obviously crazy killer."

* * *

"Damn." Lana whistled

"Yeah, really glad i brought explosive shells during our last encounter." Archer admitted

"But enough about stuff related to work, have you tried that thing i suggested."

"What, the journal?" Lana said snidely

"No the kelp tape." Rona said

"Bleck, hell no!" Lana said

"Aww why not." Rona said

"Besides the gross method." Lana stated

"Well yeah that."

"Cause i don't need stuff like that." Lana said "Not to mention i haven't been drinking for awhile now even though half the time i feel i need a bloody drink!" Lana snap.

"Which is a shame since mother scheme seem to be getting bad lately." Archer said

* * *

"Are you sure you want me to do this..." Cheryl asked "I mean i'm a pyromaniac and even i think this is crazy use for fire."

"Of course, i learn ron somehow lost his money while traveling back from canada in a situation he doesn't want to talk about! so to make up for the money lost i want you to burn one dealer ship down so he can get the insurance money." Mallory stated

"I see alot of hole in that argument." Cheryl said, Mallory punched her in the gut "OW!... that was good." Cheryl said in a lustful way.

"I give you one punch free and i can trick Lana to choke you if you get to work." Mallory said annoyed

"I'm on it!" Cheryl said as she left the office. Mallory sighed as she muttered "I miss the days when i can just threaten subordinate with disembowelment and they do the work. Why must i be curse for morons as workers, WHY!?"

* * *

"Were here." Lana said

"Finally." Archer said as they got off the plane "I wonder who they sent."

"Hello Archer, Lana." A voice said they turn to see Katya holding Slater who looked beat up.

"Oh great." Lana muttered "Her."

"Katya! your trading Slater for Rona?" Archer asked

"They wanted to make sure that Slater overpower them, and well, very few things can overpower me." Katya stated

"Really cause i heard explosive can leave quite nasty damage to your cyborg ass." Lana pointed out with a annoyed tone

"True but i think i can kill this guy in case you brought any." Katya said "And something tells me you and the CIA are about ready to slit the other throat at the moment."

"Trust me, the idea has not pass my mind." Slater stated

"Shut up Slater." Archer stated "And are you sure you want to trade Slater for Rona? cause she kinda annoying."

"Hey!" Rona stated annoyed.

"Oh believe me, i know. but the bigwigs love her movies." Katya admitted she then pushed Slater away. "Start walking."

"You too." Lana stated pointing her gun at Rona. both prisoners walk to there respective side. when Rona reached Katya and Slater reached Archer and Lana "Happy now."

"Quite, das vidanya." Katya said as she threw a smoke bomb to the ground.

"Goddamnit! she could have just walked away." Archer and the other cough as the smoke dissipated and reveal both KGB workers gone.

"Well at least the CIA now owe us one." Archer said

"One good move does not excuse your idiocy beforehand!" Slater snapped

"I'm sorry who got caught when they started reading your file?" Lana asked

"Shut up." Slater muttered

"Tell me it was at least something very important instead of something trivial like the reveal of your first name." Archer said

"I said shut up!


End file.
